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Nothing really rocks, and nothing really rolls

And nothing's ever worth the cost

At your service.

"There's an ancient Lower Belabartokovitchian saying,
I'll try to paraphrase 'cause I don't quite recall:
We'd rather mess with the angel of death
Than have no angel at all


In 1880-something, Transylvania, the village of Lower Belabartokovitch had a vampire problem: they were infested with the bastards. Not surprising, considering the village was under the shadow of the dreaded castle Von Krolock. In the local inn, Chagal (Transylvanian innkeeper), and Rebecca (his Transylvanian wife), made a habit out of entertaining a village gone stir crazy from constant fear of death, and sunset, along with Magda, the obligatory busty serving wench, and Boris, their nephew and general repository for tasks no one else wants to do. It was lucrative. Then the fearless vampire killers came to town.

Unfortunately, they were the aged Professor Abronsius, and his factotum/student/running gay joke, Alfred. Try as they might (despite having God and true love on their sides), the pair were unable to save Chagal's eighteen year old daughter Sarah from the clutches of the dreaded Count Von Krolock. Although they did manage to slay the Count himself, by the time the curtain fell, Sarah, Alfred, and most of the village of Lower Belabartokovitch had become the undead, and were well on their way to ruling the earth by 2080...something.

Boris is the 9th lead from the Jim Steinman Broadway flop 'Dance of the Vampires', which was an Americanized version of 'Tanz der Vampire', which is a musical version of Roman Polanski's 'The Fearless Vampire Killers'. Though not a vampire himself, Boris became one of the undead in 1880-something (bats were heavily involved). A Renfield/Igor-like figure, he is probably technically a ghoul. This seems to have granted him immortality, an ability to hypnotize humans, and a sweet leather outfit. As a minion of the dreaded Count Von Krolock, Boris ran errands, escorted visitors, participated in dream ballets, and hosted lavish balls, which is a good gig for a poor kid from Lower Belabartokovitch, Transylvania, particularly one who was something of the village idiot/madman/whipping boy. To aid his master (whoever that may be; they don't tend to last long), Boris is able to walk in the sunlight, and does not eat, sleep, age, or decay. Any of his limbs which may become detached can be sewn back on, and he cannot be killed by most normal means, although decapitation would probably do the trick. He isn't interested in finding out.

Appearance-wise, he is a small, slim man who became immortal at the age of who knows, and people weren't so into counting back then. In other words: twenty, although at his height he can appear younger, and he has the bitter, disenfranchised air of an older servant. He is very pale, and always has dark circles under his eyes, and on either side of his hooked nose. His hair is wild and occasionally appears to have been styled with lightening (this may be the case), and is so black it's purple. He has mild kyphosis, or for the politically incorrect: is a hunchback. He's not Quasimodo deformed, but a curve at the top of his spine does thrust his head forward and down. This can make him look slightly sinister, or simple in the head, depending on the lighting. His right arm is weaker than his left, and he walks with a slight limp. He's also starting to amass an interesting collection of scars from laboratory accidents, over-eager villagers and monster hunters, and other people's bad days. Boris speaks English with a Bela Lugosi accent, and has a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel a high nasal voice. He has a strange manner of speaking (he often states, rather than asks questions, and pluralizes words that don't need to be pluralized for no particular reason other than his own enjoyment), even in his native language. His native language is Hungarian, although he also speaks German and Romanian. He is ethnically Jewish.

For Tanz fans: Boris is sort of the U.S. version of Koukol, although he's been turned into more of a Riff-Raff. Boris was played by the supremely talented Mark Price, who unfortunately seems to be an actual vampire, or some other sort of creature (Broadway actor) who cannot be photographed, and is therefore sometimes not the actor used in Boris' icons. Boris is available for comments/RP with anyone/thing from the 1860's-the present day (and beyond).

((Disclaimer: Boris is owned by Jim Steinman, Michael Kunze, and David Ives. I have no connection with them, or the actors in my icons. This is just for fun. I make no profit, nor intend no infringement of copyright. Beep the mun: here!))
accents, bartending, bats, beating people with wigs, carpathia, chess, cluj-napoca, convoluted dream ballets, counts, dancing, david ives, death, der ring des nibelungen, dream gargoyles, eclipses, eternity, evil, fearless vampire killers, gargoyles, garlic, germans, gypsies, hats, herbert von krolock, hungary, inkeeping, jim steinman, leather, lower belabartokovitch, madness not the band, magda, not songs about books, professional minioning, queen of the vampires, revolting peasants, roman polanski, romania, schiller/goethe otp, sebastian bach, self-help, sibiu, skid row's sebastian bach, that bitch nadja, the big apple, the castle von krolock, the count von krolock, the hemi-demi-semi-undead, the old country, the undead, the unliving, tns, tourists, transylvania, transylvanian neurological society, vampires, wagner's greatest hits, wolf people, world domination, zsa zsa